You read that title and what do you think of? No, don’t cheat by scrolling down or taking cues from the opening picture, pretend you never saw that. Just pretend I asked you in the street what the world’s most expensive party was and you, for some reason, were willing to answer. Maybe some wild celebrity birthday party with half the people in the music charts present? Or maybe one of the celebrations after WW2, those looked pretty wild. But no, idiot, you’re wrong. The answer lies in Iran, or Persia if you prefer. After all, it was the 2,500th anniversary of the Persian Empire!
What? Why?
The year is 1971, the place is Persepolis, the ancient capital of a Persian empire. For many years nothing more than ancient ruins, the ghosts of the past, but for this shining moment being brought back to life by the Shah of Iran at the time, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. We can get into all the pomp and pageantry of the event in a little while, but let’s get us started with context. First of all, what exactly was being celebrated and why was it so important?
Well the main purpose was celebrating 2,500 years of Persian monarchy. This is despite the fact that the Shah had pretty much no direct link to the founder they were no-doubt looking towards, Cyrus the Great who’s believed to have died on that very 2,500 year anniversary and who founded the Achaemenid Empire, considered a predecessor to modern Iran. The whole idea was to show off the idea of Iran as an ‘ancient civilization’ that should be respected on the same levels as Greece and Rome. Dragging Cyrus the Great into it (which the Shah most definitely was, with the ‘Cyrus Charter’ serving as the event’s symbol and more events held at his alleged tomb) further served that goal.
Okay, but why did any of that matter? Well a lot of it probably had to do with how unpopular the monarchy was becoming. In 1963, the Shah attempted far-reaching land reforms which boosted living standards in the country over time, but pissed off the middle-class and clergy while sparking up new social problems. Protests called for by future Ayatollah Khomeini led to the Shah’s military killing hundreds and suppressing thousands, further killing off goodwill. Since the Shah wanted to maintain complete power, capitulating on democracy was unacceptable, so he had to win the people over his way… Which is why in 1967, the Shah proclaimed himself ‘King of Kings’ (Šāhanšāh), the traditional title for kings of the Achaemenid empire.
You can see now why it was so important to lionize the royal family. He was banking a lot of his hopes on people’s appreciation for the history of monarchy and flush with newfound wealth from the reforms of 1963, this seemed like a great way to drive the point home! A year before the event, a new government council was formed to organize it and they had their work cut out for them. Officials from all over the world were invited, security on an unprecedented scale had to be provided for the potentially dangerously area of the Persepolis ruins, fancy companies were contracted to sparkle up the event and even 30km of desert was cleared of snakes.
So what was it like?
With all that context dealt with, let’s see what the world’s most expensive party was actually like! To start with, the ‘venue’ for the whole event. Persepolis is an Iranian national treasure, the capital of the Achaemenid Empire with ruins dating back to 515 BC and a remarkably large amount of well-preserved architecture. It fell to Alexander the Great in 330 BC and never regained its position of former glory, falling into disuse. So what I’m basically saying is, the facilities weren’t equipped for the world’s most expensive party. In fact, it had basically no facilities at all! Unless letting all the guests die of exposure was an intended part of the experience, that’s something they had to solve.
The solution was to build an elaborate ‘tent city’ just outside the ruins, with fabulous tents holding luxury apartments spreading out from a fancy fountain in a star pattern. Among the fifty ‘tents’ there, about 37 kilometres of fine Persian silk was used, just one ‘small’ example of the extravagance that set this party over the top. Given that the land itself was a dead desert, trees and plants were brought from elsewhere to give a lively garden. From elsewhere in Iran? Of course not, they were brought all the way from France, because nothing says ‘2,500 years of Persia’ than trees from a whole different continent. 15,000 trees and flowers in fact. With tens of thousands of songbirds too.
Speaking of France, the catering was French too. If you’re going to have a monstrously lavish party, you might as well fly the food in from France while you’re at it. A whole thirty tones of it! But not just from any ‘ol fancy French restaurant, they went with Maxim’s, one of the most famous restaurants in the world. Every goddamn bite of this meal needed to be in triple-digit territory. If you thought that’s enough French shit for one party, the French fashion company Lanvin designed the outfits for the imperial household. Once again, I really have to wonder at what point this stops being about Persia and starts just being about France. Even the goddamn plates were French!
Every guest was chauffeured by one of 250 Mercedes-Benz limos, which honestly just confuses me because that’s not a French car chain. Are they really only going to half-commit to the obsession? Smells of cowardice. Further backtracking from their Francophile theme is a military parade staffed by thousands of soldiers in period-accurate costumes for the old Persian dynasties. Also notable for the event was the opening of the ‘Shahyad tower’, or Shah’s memorial tower in Tehran, a 45 meter marble tower with a museum housing, among other things, the ‘Cyrus cylinder’, a 6th century BC stone cylinder inscribed with what the Shah called the world’s first human rights bill. Most historians disagree with that, but it’s still a prized artefact.
And what happened at it?
Alright then, that’s the world’s most expensive party with a bit of context. But let’s note, this was a five day event, just knowing what was there doesn’t really get into the meat of what happened. Let’s go step by step for a bit. October 12th, the Shah officially starts the celebrations with a toast at the tomb of Cyrus. The guests arrive at a specially prepared airstrip and newly paved highway to bring them to the tent city. The 50 most important guests, the royals and presidents, got their own tent while the other filthy peasants got to go to a nearby newly-built luxury hotel. The first two days are spent mingling and meeting the Shah.
On the 14th, it was the birthday of the Shah’s wife and that called for the real fun to begin. The guests gathered in a large banquet hall, the royals seated at one long, winding table and the world’s most expensive party was matched with the world’s most lavish meal. Five and a half hours spent eating food prepared by Maxim’s, which had to close for two weeks by the way. I understand it’s a lot of food, but I don’t get the five and a half hours thing. You can only eat for so damn long. Presumably there was a lot of schmoozing to do at this party, so maybe that’s it.
When that was done, an elaborate sound and light show was performed in front of the ruins to cap off the day. The following morning, a massive military parade of those aforementioned lads in old Persian armour was performed, utilizing just under 2000 soldiers. This was followed with music acts ranging from ancient Persian to not really Persian at all, which seems to be a running theme with this whole thing. On the last day, the Shahyad tower was opened in Tehran and the man himself paid a visit to his dad’s mausoleum, because of course, the whole thing is about him specifically, not the Persian empire.
My main takeaway from all this is that rich people parties are simultaneously really grand and really boring. A lot of sitting in one spot in fancy suits for really, really long periods of time while things happen at you. Granted, I’m sure the big parade and the fancy food was lovely, but I’d personally feel like a rat in a cage, knowing I can’t so much as spill some sauce on my fancy diamond-studded shirt, nevermind get completely banjaxed and violate a karaoke machine.
Who was at the world’s most expensive party?
A good question. The event was meant to be a real show of Iran’s international prestige, so many extremely important international figures were invited. A bunch of the world’s leading figures snubbed them, which is funny. The queen of England, the US president and the Soviet leader all declined to attend for various reasons. The president of France didn’t go, which is especially funny given they probably threw a whole percent of their GDP at French companies for the occasion. Besides all that, 15 kings, 5 queens, 21 princes, 16 presidents, 3 prime ministers and a bunch of other high-level officials attended.
While the queen of England didn’t go, her husband Philip and the princess Anne did. The kings of Norway and Denmark attended, along with the crown prince of Sweden. The Emperor Haile Selassie, living God to the Rastafari religion and leader of Ethiopia at the time was in attendance, as were a prince and princess from Japan, which remains the world’s oldest continuous monarchy. Many Arab leaders also made themselves known, with the Emir’s of Bahrain, Qatar and Kuwait attending, plus the king of Jordan and sultan of Oman. Not present were representatives of any of the non-monarchical Arab republics.
That stuff’s all to be expected though. Royals mingle with royals, it’s what they do. Where things get interesting is with the other heads of state. Despite the shockingly bourgeois atmosphere of the whole affair, Yugoslavia’s own Josip Broz Tito attended. In fact, a lot of ‘socialist’ leaders were there for some reason, including the presidents of Bulgaria, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Romania. The USSR didn’t devolve to sending over Brezhnev, probably in fear that he’d out-royal the royalty with his innumerable sparkly medals. Instead, they sent Nikolai Podgorny, chairman of the presidium. Even China sent a representative, despite being caught up in the middle of the cultural revolution.
America sent its vice president and many other west European nations sent their prime ministers and other important figures. This was, in a certain way, an opportunity for diplomacy between rival powers, which no-doubt influenced decisions on who got to attend. I just have to wonder if there were any strange moments, like the Chinese delegate getting drunk and bragging that the old Chinese emperor Puyi became a simple cafe worker and proud Maoist in his final years. And you just know things must have been tense with both the Indian and Pakistani president present! If only we could see it in action.
Wrapping up the world’s most expensive party
The world’s most expensive party may seem a bit hard to picture, but thankfully you don’t have to. They made a movie of it! And not just any movie, a movie narrated in English by Orson Welles! When the Shah saw the film, apparently the first thing he asked was “Where are the Iranians?”. The man maybe should have thought of that before making a mostly French event, full of foreign dignitaries in the middle of the desert, kept separate from the unwashed masses of that oh-so great Persian empire. And what about those huddled masses? What did they think of the world’s most expensive party?
They… Did not approve. This was a bipartisan issue, the radical left and Islamic hardliner right both felt the extravaganza was a massive waste of money, a transparent attempt to boost a cult of personality around a failing monarchy and more than anything, it was just downright not a good reflection on Iran. It was like being spit in the face, especially for the many who were pre-emptively arrested by the secret police just in case they might have tried to disrupt the event. When they were released, they were radicalized even more. Notably, this event can be said to have greatly raised the profile of one Ruhollah Khomeini, who later unseated the Shah.
The tent city remained up for the next eight years until the Iranian revolution saw it stripped down and destroyed, just a few unmarked relics remaining to show that there had indeed been a party for the ages there once. The world’s most expensive party certainly lived up to its name and that ‘expense’ meant a whole lot more than money. It was costly for the legitimacy of the government, who gradually slipped further and further from grace until their position was untenable. At least they made a movie, so people can still look back and see the world’s most expensive party that go the ball rolling.